Why do people let you down?

I have always known that people will let you down. It is just sad when the people you expect to not let you down do. I know we can only truly rely on God to not let us down but it still hurts when people who are close to us don't seem to care. It simply amazes me that one comment can destroy someone. It is so sad how careless people can be with their words. However, in the times of feeling like proverbial red-headed step child God will put people in your life you never expected. When I expect a group of people to care and they don't who picks up the slack? Surprisingly, God puts people there who will. My parents and Heather's dad have really come through for us in the past few months. While they continue their support some professors at JBU are even bringing us food this weekend because we are moving for the 3rd time in the past 2 months. This is so incredible of them. I really feel like the faculty at JBU cares above and beyond their calls as Professors. This is just cool.

So... Overwhelmed comes to mind.

So, I am a classic overachiever. I hate the grade "B". Much to my dismay I found myself with a "D" on an Advanced English Grammar test. JBU is a lot harder than I thought it would be. However, I am taking care of things on the grade end by studying harder and slowing down. Then there is the fact that I have no job. I want a job but I don't have one. This stresses me out. On top of that Heather and I are moving again this Saturday. This time in to an apartment in Fayetteville with her dad. Oh and I feel completely disconnected from my family, friends, and church. I need some breathing space. I need my creative outlet. I am blogging as a sad attempt to release some tension. I am also reacting horribly to all the "seasonal allergies" floating around. All in all things are actually good just overwhelming. I want to stop and relax. Read a book. Write a poem. Not think about Lit Theory, Medieval Lit, Advanced English Grammar, or Old Testament. I want to think about nothing. Here is to dreaming!

Back to Springdale/Fayetteville

It is very nice to be back in Springdale. I am loving it. I am finally starting to feel better too which is nice. We moved back here because Siloam isn't our place. We have no beefs (well major beefs) with JBU. Siloam just isn't for Heather and I. Nothing against it just not our place. We are going to commute to school. Yes, it is a lot of driving but people drive further than us everyday. Commuting honestly is the only viable option. We seriously were depressed in Siloam and there weren't many jobs. We have to do what is best for us. Which is moving back. Now, I need to find a part time job but no big deal. There are plenty of places in Fayetteville I want to work.

The Diagnosis is...

So, I don't have Mono! Heather and I are very excited. I had to have more blood work done today but no mono. So, what has been ailing me for a week? "A wicked bacteria infection" as the doctor called it. Apparently, strep isn't the only bacteria that causes tonsillitis. So, whatever bacteria I had was very anti-amoxicillian. The current antibiotic seems to be working. That is good news. I am still week but I did get the all clear to go to school on Monday! Heather and I are moving back to Fayetteville tomorrow too! Boo to Siloam Springs. We still like and are attending JBU.

Sickness... BOO!

So, guess who may have Mono? Me. So, last Thursday I started running a fever. Friday it got up to 102.6 and Tylenol/ Advil combo was not reducing it at all. So, Saturday Heather wanted to take me to the ER but I told her my doctor had a Saturday Clinic. We went there and waited. When the doctor finally saw me he was in and out. He said I had acute tonsilitis (sp?) and gave me a prescription for amoxcillian. However, it wasn't working. Tuesday morning I woke up and my fever was still 102.6. So, back to the doctor it was. We went to Heather's doctor (who by the way is the best doctor in the world) she did a strep test, a mono test, and a white blood cell count. The first two came back negative. The second showed a low count. Apparently, Mono takes a long time to show up in your system and is hard to test for. So, I have to go back to the doctor on Friday and depending on how my throat looks and how I feel they will test again for Mono. I am on lots of medicine so hopefully it will go away. Pray that Heather doesn't get it either.

God's little blessings...

50 dollar gift card to wal-mart in the mail. Wow, God works in amazing ways.

The Mask of Religiousity

I realize that I am not new to this world and that often people are hurt by people doing things in God's name. That bothers me. However, people who hide behind their religion and make decisions that profit them but say it was what God told them to do are just as bad. Maybe, they aren't killing in God's name. They ruin in God's name. These "ruiners" ruin lives, relationships, and sadly faiths. I want to know what gives someone the right to do things in God's name? Why don't we realize that when doing something ungodly it doesn't make it godly just because you say God told you to do it. I know I am being incredibly vague. I do that on purpose. People continually hurt people because they feel that their religion (let's be honest that is what it is. It isn't God) gives them this pontificating air. I am right because my religion says so. I can hurt you and not feel guilty because God is on my side. These statements are shallow. I want to know why. Is it entitlement? Where in the Bible does it say we are entitled to ride our proverbial high-horse? I think of lyrics to a song and I pray I remember them "let us not lift our souls to one another". God give us clean hands!