I believe that William Blake made a reference to the “mind-forged manacles”. Sometimes, I like Blake have created my own chains. I have limited my abilities from what I can actually do to what is the easiest for me to do. I claim to be this artsy person who loves to write. However, when time comes for me to sit down and write on a novel or even this blog I hesitate. What causes this overwhelming desire to be quenched by less than mediocrity? Is it the fact that I want so much to be this person that I fantasize I am? Who am I truly? This is always a tough question. Am I a “mark of woe”? I don’t believe so but I swear sometimes I feel that way. Yet no one in my life would EVER have me truly believe this of myself. I hate that I expect too much of people. I hate that when they fail me that I become slightly bitter. I want to keep my Anne Frank perspective but at the same time want so much to hate the Nazis. I struggle with the dichotomy of my life. Why can’t I find the indelible? Then I think the indelible. That is much to clear for my mind that longs for the blurry haze of life. I said earlier I long for the grey. I long to search my mind, heart, and soul for my opinion and not just bow to the majority. Does this mean that I intentionally go against the grain just to be seen as different? Sometimes maybe but honestly that is never my intention. So, in life I choose to forge my own path like Emerson. I pray the only fetter is the one that binds my heart to God.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
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1 comments:
While working in Corrections, supervising Offenders, my working partner and I used to constantly say, 'Give them enough rope, and they'll hang themselves', meaning...give them time out from tether for job search or whatever, and before you know it they will make a "wrong" choice, and we will have to get a Warrant and have them arrested. Back then, I felt slightly superior to my fledgling Felons.
Now..Given lots of rope, and the freedom that Christ has given me, I find myself in the same position. Given Goodness, rightness, holiness, why do I choose the Base, the black (forget about Grey), and sometimes the plain wrong. Yes..The SIN?
Why do I think of the moment, and not the long term?..I choose immediacy over long term. I know better. I'm compassionate over others when they do this..yet despise myself. ..and do the same thing again.
good thought provoking post.
You don't have to be "perfect"...just DO it--write, the more you write, the better you become. DO SOMETHING, as Louis Lamore used to write.
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